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Hey, kids! Are you trying to write a comedic play but worried you won’t get the chops? Well, worry no more! You don’t. But you can pretend until you do with the patented Borderlands method! A simple three-step process that will turn any dry functional line of dialogue into jaw-dropping hilarity. First step: say it. Step Two: Keep talking like you’re a socially inept party boy who just got his first line of coke. Stage Three: Transitioning to a sort of awkward tangent to reflect a level of self-awareness otherwise largely absent from work. Let’s see it in action! “Go through this door” becomes “Go through this door because there is probably treasure on the other side and by treasure I mean more hideous violence against strangers which is treasure to me. My doctor says I should go out more. Was it funny or what? No, it wasn’t. Not the least. But there’s a kind of comedic vibe about it and that might be all you need. You know, it’s comedy in the sense that Owen Wilson is an actor. Obviously I’m being facetious here, there’s a lot more to Borderlands’ specific brand of humor than just characters talking too much. Sometimes they also do it in a silly voice. And some of them scream a lot.