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It’s here just in time to replace the Hemi V8!
If you loved the Hemi V8-powered Dodge muscle cars, you better go pick up whatever you can while they’re still around. That’s right, the very thing I predicted last year that was told to me was just a crazy conspiracy theory just revealed by Stellantis. The Franco-Italian-American automaker last week unveiled the Hurricane, a twin-turbo straight-six that “delivers V8 levels of power” – or so they tell you. However, the company doesn’t even have the decency to say there will be no more Hemis in Dodges, even though we all know that’s what that means.
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All this is of course done to save the planet. Just like in the last politically induced oil crisis, we are told that snails are replacing cylinders. Look, having owned several turbocharged vehicles myself, I can say that I love forced induction, but it’s no substitute for cylinders. Believe me, turbocharged V8s are wonderful things. However, if you just look at the peak power specs and pretend that’s all that matters when it comes to performance, keep in mind that the High Output Hurricane engine produces 500 horsepower and 475 lb-ft. of torque, far from the 797 horsepower and 797 lb-ft of the Hellcat Redeye. of torque. Even in the face of this indisputable fact, there are still people who celebrate it as a step forward for Dodge performance. Let’s face it, when SRT was dismantled, it was the curtain call for modern Mopar muscle cars.
This kind of insane celebration is exactly what the stenographers at Stellantis, I mean my fellow automotive journalists, did. They dutifully spread the good news of this new way to have all the fun you want behind the wheel while saving gas and reducing emissions, because Dodge told them to say so without questioning anything. You see, you can be in cars and also kiss rainbows while playing with unicorns!
Of course, the Hurricane engine is marketed as technologically advanced, so if you’re not super excited for it, you must be anti-progress. I’m not saying it’ll be like those really great Chrysler-Mitsubishi turbo engines from the 80s, because this time around the French and Italians are on board to make sure everything runs smoothly for the first 70,000 kilometres. Or maybe 90,000 miles if you’re lucky. All the while, you’ll be thanking your lucky stars for not having two extra cylinders because you’re a good little consumer.
The real test of the Hurricane engine will be its life in the hands of the public. After working in this industry for a while, you start to realize that automakers always make their new products sound like the best thing since sliced bread, so you stop buying into the hype machine. Just look at all the marketing copy describing the disastrous Mazda CX-7 when it was launched. There are many, many more examples, but you probably figured it out.
With the Hurricane coming out this year, we won’t have to wait too long to see what this engine is all about. At this time, the automaker isn’t saying which models will get the twin-turbo straight-six first. It would be really hilarious if they dropped them in the Ram 1500, which is probably coming soon, following in Ford’s footsteps. These EcoBoost F-150s have worked wonders for anyone who doesn’t need to tow or haul anything important, or doesn’t pay too much attention to their fuel mileage, so why not?
Ultimately, the Stellantis Hurricane Engine is all about inclusivity. These Hemi V8s were far too toxic and exclusive for reasons that will not be explained as logic is out of fashion. So do as you’re told and love, not love, the next crop of Mopar muscle cars or you’ll be labeled a bad person until the next social media trend makes everyone forget about it until until their engine magically explodes.
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