Well, look on the bright side: your Friday night is now completely free!
Word of the day: discouraged.
HARRY THE HERO. Nothing I write today (or at any time, for that matter) will be as beautiful, honest, courageous, haunting, profound, or impactful as the letter Harry Miller shared with us yesterday.
So for this first section, I’m going to defer to him. If you missed reading his letter yesterday, please read it now. If you read it yesterday, read it again.
I am retiring medically.
I would generally not share such information. However, because I played football,
no longer have the privilege of privacy, so I will briefly share my story before
other articles keep asking, “What’s wrong with Harry Miller?” It is good
question. That’s a good enough question that I don’t know the answer, although I have
asked for it often.
Before last year’s season, I told Coach Day of my intention to kill myself. He
immediately put me in touch with Dr. Candice and Dr. Norman, and I received the
support I needed. After a few weeks, I tried my luck at football again, with scars
on my wrists and throat. Maybe the scars were hard to see with my bandaged wrists.
Maybe it was hard to see the scars through the bright colors of the TV. May be
the scars were hard to hear through all the talk shows and interviews. They are
hard to see and they’re easy to hide, but they definitely hurt. There was a dead man
on the television set, but no one knew about it.
Back then, I’d rather be dead than a coward. I’d rather be nothing at all than
having to explain everything that was wrong. I planned to be reduced to my
initials on a sticker on the back of a helmet. I had seen people looking for help before. I’ve had
given the age-old adage that our generation mellowed by the second, but I can
tell you that my skin was hard. It should have been. But it was no harder than the sharp metal of
my cutter. And I saw how easy it was for people to reject others by speaking
about how they were just a stupid college kid who didn’t know anything. But luckily I
I am a student at the College of Engineering, and I have a 4.0 and all the distinctions
you might need so maybe if someone is hurt can be taken seriously for once it can
be mine. And maybe I can vouch for all the other people who hurt but aren’t taken
seriously because for some reason pain must have prerequisites
A person like me, who is supposed to have the whole world in front of her, can be fully
ready to give up the whole world. This is not a question reserved for the distant
a way. It is in our homes. It’s in our conversations. It’s in the people we love.
I’m not angry. I had to lose my anger because I didn’t know if God would forgive me if I went to him if I was angry. I didn’t know how the host of hosts would respond to my
unexpected arrival, and I did not want to try it. So in my sadness I lost my anger
and learned a lot. I learned the color of blood through the tears in my eyes.
learned that the human ear cannot distinguish between the two when their drops hit
a tiled floor. But above all, I learned about love, the type of love that can only be put back together
together by the mechanism of brutal sadness.
And so I will love more than I can be hated or ridiculed, for I know people who
sneer most need the love I’ve been looking for. The cost of apathy is life, but
the price of life is as small as an act of kindness. I am a life preserved by kindness
which was offered to me by others when I could not produce goodness for myself.
We ask “How could this have happened?” but this question alone cannot absolve us
of all the questions we might have had while this was happening.
I am grateful for the infrastructure that Coach Day has put in place in the State of Ohio, and I am
grateful that he lets me find a new way to help others in the program. I hope
athletic departments across the country are doing the same. If not for him and the staff, my
the words would not be a reflection. They would be evidence in an autopsy.
God bless those who love. God bless those who mourn. And God bless those who hurt
and only know how to share their pain with anger, because they learn to love with me.
I am okay.
There is always help.
As long as there is life, there is hope
As long as there is life, there is hope
I don’t know Harry personally, and maybe I never will. But with his letter and how many lives I’m sure he has already reached, it’s very clear that his pain had a purpose, and there is hope in his suffering.
I’m proud of him. And he is deeply loved by more people than he will ever know.
He’ll never play another snap for Ohio State again, but I sincerely believe he’ll go down as one of the most impactful human beings to ever wear a Buckeye uniform.
THE DAY LEADS THE WAY. I obviously don’t know exactly what happened and I don’t want to speak on Harry’s behalf but from the outside I’m not sure there is a better head coach in the country where he can go with his sanity. struggles and suicidal thoughts than Ryan Day.
Day understands – he lost his father to suicide when he was young. And because of that, he places a huge value on mental health as a coach.
And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the day before Miller officially announced his retirement from football, Day was out preaching the importance of mental health and sharing a bit of his own story.
It is no coincidence that last night, in the presence of Ryan Day, the Toledo/Wistert chapter of the @NFFNetwork announced an initiative to promote mental health awareness. Afterwards, Coach Day talked about the importance of the issue. https://t.co/8za5KxsOBw pic.twitter.com/wvzUHMrWeh
—Mark Kunz (@MarkAKunz) March 10, 2022
There are many things that make me proud of my alma mater and the team that I support and write about professionally, and Day and Miller keep giving me more.
DEVIN SMITH JR. I normally try not to compare new or upcoming players to other Buckeyes from the past, as it doesn’t really seem fair to either player and usually sets the young man up for failure.
But when you come from Massillon, change your number to Devin Smith’s number 9, and openly mention his name several times during your brief interview, I don’t really have a choice.
Jayden Ballard was asked three times in his interview today about being compared to Devin Smith. It’s going to be a popular comparison throughout his career at Ohio State, especially now that he wears No. 9 like Smith also did at Ohio State and Massillon.
— Dan Hope (@Dan_Hope) March 10, 2022
The only thing that would make things better is if you tell me Ballard hasn’t lost a game in his career by scoring a touchdown.
SIGN IT. Liam McCullough hasn’t played in a competitive game of football since his time at Ohio State, but he’s here to prove he’s ready anytime.
NFL Free Agent long snapper Liam McCullough’s (Raiders, Steelers, Ohio State) March 2022 Zauner Free Agent Combine film, scoring a perfect 30/30 on field goal snaps and 17/18 on kick location and blocking clearance. Liam was the longest snapper out of 25 at the combine. pic.twitter.com/LaeuxGAdtE
— Liam McCullough (@LiamMcCullough2) March 11, 2022
Admittedly, I know very little about the long snap, but it’s pretty damn clear to me that he’s the best snapper available in the country and could be better than some current pros.
If he doesn’t get at least one invite to camp from someone this year, I’m going to be furious on his behalf.
SONG OF THE DAY. “Turn My Swag On” by Soulja Boy.
DON’T GET TO SPORT. Wrongly convicted of terrorism in the terrible years following 9/11, Hamid Hayat has lost everything… The wild world of invertebrate butts… A woman fights to keep her “FART” license plate. .. The last party on Lombard Street. .. This man lived on a cruise ship for 20 years… Fabric softener doesn’t make clothes softer…