Enemies in the Elden Ring are ranked by how much they like to eat

Foodstuffs are meant to be crafted and consumed in The Lands Between. Many of them are made from herbs you collect on your journey: I often make raisins for Torrent, my good steed, for example. But there are also many types of meat loot, which can be crafted into a range of tasty snacks. Killing a deer or sheep can give you a ‘chunk of meat’ – combine it with crab eggs (among other things) for ‘invigorating jerky’. Yum! This suggests that, like in many other games, eating Ring of Elden enemies is obvious.

Naturally, I killed creatures, with an eye on crafting consumables – as they are useful in a fight. But it also made me think, “Hmm, I wonder which of these creatures would be worth snacking on?” The Midlands is clearly filled with dangerous treats, and if I lived there, which ones would I crave? They may not come with their own flavorings (see: Pokémon’s FarFetch’d, who wields a giant leek), but they certainly open a window of possibilities.

Our staff explored these possibilities, just as we explored Ring of Eldenthe vast map. Here are the enemies we would like to eat. (And vegetarians and vegans, feel free to stray from our carnivorous tastes – Ring of Elden is also rich in tasty herbs.)

Giant crab (and smaller ones too)

The sweetest and most tender meat is usually found in the claw – which is, by the way, the part of the Ring of Elden crab that I know best. The crab likes to hit me with its giant claw, and as such, I know there’s a lot of good stuff in there. –Nicole Clark

throw of earth

The dirt throws look a lot like the icky eggs from the original Extraterrestrial. Whenever I think of these eggs, only one thing comes to mind: a delicious spaghetti dinner. Would ground asparagus be delicious? Of course not. Nothing in Ring of Elden tastes better than an expired cottage cheese Tupperware left out in the sun for the month of July. But at least the earthly asparagus will remind me of the good pasta meal that my astrologer will never be able to enjoy. –Chris Plante

Birds that have knives for legs

It’s a meal that comes with its own utensils! Plus, they’re extremely boring, and I bet winning would taste good (and gamey). –Pete Volk

Standing in front of the entrance to the Elden Ring Impaler catacombs, flanked by spirit jellyfish, in the Weeping Peninsula

Image: FromSoftware/Bandai Namco via Polygon

Astonished

I would obviously never eat my own summon (the horror), but there are a number of enemy jellyfish in the game, and they would be really good in a cold salad. –CN

crystal snail

When I first encountered these slimy geodes, I immediately thought of scooping them out of their shells with a colossal fork and sautéing them in butter. I can’t help but think that once you get through that hard shell, whether it’s glittering rocks or a giant skull, the snail meat will be chewy and earthy and so filling. I didn’t enjoy the snail either time I ate it in real life so I don’t know what convinced me these would be a satisfying experience. Maybe I read too much Delicious in the dungeonor spent too much time trapped in the dark tunnels of Ring of Elden. Either way, I’m gonna crack those crystals and swallow one of those snails like a thick udon noodle. –Jenna Stoeber

terrestrial octopus

The growing cultural awareness around how smart as hell octopuses are has led me to develop new feelings about eating them. But the Land Octopus is a grumpy, tangled mass of tentacles that doesn’t seem quite as smart as its undersea cousins, considering how it keeps bumping into my sword. What could be better than charring one of these big tentacles over high heat and covering it with butter? Doing it without guilt is what. –Chelsea Stark

[Ed. Note: The following is a spoiler for late-game Elden Ring.]

The heroic Elden Ring character, in his early game armor, riding his horse Torrent through Limgrave

Image: FromSoftware via Polygon

hand beast

Feed me the Elden Beast! The final boss of the game looks like a combination of an eel, a dinosaur, and all the stars in the universe. I would cut a piece off immediately after killing it and eat it raw. It would result in me becoming a God or dying instantly, and either way it would be worth it. –Austen Goslin

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